6:12 AM
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
mother's 55th birthday!
halloween'12 ( Katniss Everdeen )
Carpenter & Cook with ken &faith
Making of Josket!
i have been busy with schoolwork and the normal mundane life
that i forget to reflect and appreciate the simplest of things around me.
this semester, school has been a blessing with our amazing lecturer.
i love every bit of it, plus the friends that i have in there,they're precious.
now that assessments are over, i am actually having school blues.
assessments passed a week ago. i did o.k.a.y
like all human beings, i wished that i could have put more effort and done better in terms
of my thought process and my cpj. whats done is done.
yeah, a week ago, i could say, i foresee as an important (turning) point of my life.
we were asked to choose our specialism. and when that moment comes,its not easy for everybody
to make that 'life-changing' decision. i got to say i did struggle!
in the end, i chose what i came to this school for, despite the many negative and horrid
experiences and consequences my lecturers could name.
whats left is to cross our fingers and hope that i made the right choice.
and also crosses on the pernod ricard campaign as well!
during the past year or two,
i've been living with this inner struggle as i
journey through life and hurtful things hurled at me.
who the heck says life is a breeze?
heck no. im tortured emotionally by the dynamics of my family.
my holidays just started but i wished its ending soon.
i feel so lonely at home, mostly me and my mom but we do not get along.
all conversations she makes are solely about cleaning the house and for coming home late.
you mean you have nth else to talk to me about?
my dad is seldom at home and i really wish i knew where and why he goes away all the time.
and my brother, he has a mind of his own, he hurts my feelings and does not support me emotionally.sometimes i wna stop giving a shit abt him too. Just because he has new commitments, he doesnt care about my everyday doings, and is stuck in his own love world. he only calls me when he needs help and i feel so taken for granted. why should i be there for him when he is not there for me?
he can call me insecure and judge me as long as he wants.
i have so often talked to anthony about this and every single time he's an angel abt it and makes me feel better.
idk why im complaining minor issues when there are people worst off than my family.
at a lost of what to do. i've been doing nothing abt it my whole life,
and it proves that being ignorant abt it wont solve anything.
so what shd i do?
and that brings me.
half an hr ago, i caught the movie
'Courageous' on my imac and it is a beautiful movie
revolving god and the job of earthly fathers.
inspiring and touching.
i feel so strongly about it because i have always been telling
anthony how my parent's relationship have affected me in every way possible.
and it really is true!
pls. teach. me. how. to. love.